I feel so alone without you

Life goes on just like any other day. Full of worries and troubles. When will I ever be happy.

Been really quite busy at work.  But I never seem to see any good recognition. So tired.

Should I do something else?  Something different so that I can have a better life? But what else can I do besides being good in I.T

I have a lot of dreams but they are all just dreams. Nothing ever come true.

Seriously for now I dont really ask for much. I just wanna be happy and spend more time with the one I love.

Whenever I am home, I feel so lonely and stress. I need a change of environment. I need some fresh air and I mean really fresh air. I just dont know what to do. Ok I am tired and i am out.

Smile. Let everyone know today that I am stronger than yesterday

Its been a few days since I last published my blog. I dont wanna be sad anymore. So hopefully more happy posts will be here.

Recently I have been a lot happier. Thanks to the love I have found. She have been really understanding and sweet. She is really special, like an angel from heaven. I love her lots and I will never let her go or break her heart. I want to grow old with old happily :)

So excited.  We will be going for a short getaway in a few days time. - batam yeahh! Hopefully my bao bei wont be afraid of taking the ferry haha. Its actually nice going out by sea. Its feels nice n relaxing unlike planes.

9 march 2013

Bao bei and me went for movie today. We watched 'the oz's' lol power of the great at our usual cinema in downtown east. Had our lunch at just asia again. Nice free flow of drinks and ice cream and its cheap.

Went to buy story book and cake for brandon birthday.

Mum cooked my bao beis favourite marcoronni chicken soup. Nom nom nom.

Bao bei then played wii like a kid. Haha love to see the way she plays and laugh. Just makes me feel happy whenever I see her smile and laugh. The feelings so nice.. not really sure how to describe. Warmth..happiness....happy :)

Once again end of saturday. Sundays a boring day for me cos I dun get to see my bao bei. But I will try to remain happy. :)

Invisible tears are the hardest to wipe away.

My silence is just another word for my pain

It has been awhile since i blogged. I stopped for a reason as most of the time everything i typed has always been emo. But I need something so i can express how i feel, my thoughts and everything and here i am blogging again.
I am just an ordinary person who loves tattoos and piercings. But unfortunately lots of people in this world cant really accept me or try to know me better even before they discrimate me.

I have always been sad no matter how much i tried to be happy. People in my family have not always been in good health. Everyone relies on me. There are so much pressure in my life. But seems that no one understands me. They always ask me to be happy, but will they be happy if they are ever in my shoes ? my life ? I always love helping people, but when i got into trouble who helps me ? no one.

Just got into a relationship recently with a very nice sweet loving girl, after my stupid failed relationships in the past. We have been really loving, and i love her very much. But due to my tattoos, it may cause us some obstacles. I may need to laser all visible tattoos, but all this takes time, money and pain though pain not really a big issue to me as my whole life i lived in pain. I guess if anything happen to this relationship, i swear never to love again, my mind is made up. Had always been alone, doesnt matter if i am all alone again. Life is fuckup and lonely and full of pain anyway.

Many times i had always wanted to just end my whole life. End my pain, my suffering, the stress. But what will happen to my family and my love ones ? So as i say i suffer alone. Tears roll down my eyes each time i blogged, One day it will be bleeding from my eyes and no more tears.