My silence is just another word for my pain
It has been awhile since i blogged. I stopped for a reason as most of the time everything i typed has always been emo. But I need something so i can express how i feel, my thoughts and everything and here i am blogging again.
I am just an ordinary person who loves tattoos and piercings. But unfortunately lots of people in this world cant really accept me or try to know me better even before they discrimate me.
I have always been sad no matter how much i tried to be happy. People in my family have not always been in good health. Everyone relies on me. There are so much pressure in my life. But seems that no one understands me. They always ask me to be happy, but will they be happy if they are ever in my shoes ? my life ? I always love helping people, but when i got into trouble who helps me ? no one.
Just got into a relationship recently with a very nice sweet loving girl, after my stupid failed relationships in the past. We have been really loving, and i love her very much. But due to my tattoos, it may cause us some obstacles. I may need to laser all visible tattoos, but all this takes time, money and pain though pain not really a big issue to me as my whole life i lived in pain. I guess if anything happen to this relationship, i swear never to love again, my mind is made up. Had always been alone, doesnt matter if i am all alone again. Life is fuckup and lonely and full of pain anyway.
Many times i had always wanted to just end my whole life. End my pain, my suffering, the stress. But what will happen to my family and my love ones ? So as i say i suffer alone. Tears roll down my eyes each time i blogged, One day it will be bleeding from my eyes and no more tears.
